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Hal Runkel on Marriage

Here are some more notes from last weeks’s Hal Runkel event. The guy has it figured out:

  • Leaving your childhood family (dependance on your parents) and home (your baggage), is directly related to your ability to cleave to your spouse.
  • Focusing on your happiness and happiness as a couple is the greatest gift you can give your children
  • Take care of your self first.
  • You control your happiness. You are not supposed to meet your partner’s needs, you are meant to meet your own needs through a variety of relationships and experiences.
  • In marriage we said “I do” not “We do” or “I do, if you do”.
  • Hold yourself to a higher standard. Are you accountable to yourself? Can you allow yourself to be vulnerable?
  • You can’t create intimacy without being vulnerable. Be vulnerable; invite sex with your partner.
  • Reign in anxiety.
  • What doesn’t get addressed gets acted out. Life gets better when you are willing to have difficult conversations.
  • A bottleneck will not go away by itself. Most of us choose unhappy before being uncomfortable (the obesity crisis). Have the uncomfortable conversations to remove bottlenecks.
  • Resentment: the feeling that you have been wronged that attaches itself to all other emotions.
  • To Wives: Act as your husband’s mother and he will act like a little boy.
  • To Husbands: “Yes Dear” is akin to active castration. Use that term and your wife will loose all respect for you.
  • Adultery: failure is when you abandon what you want most for what you want now.
  • Let love rule!
Dave Notte

About the Author: Dave Notte

Dave Notte is the founder of Wolfgang Commercial Painters, one of Metro Vancouver's largest commercial and strata painting companies.

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